he is near.

early mornings. traffic. rushing to work. double-shifts. catching up with friends. summer to-do lists. even on a break from college, i find myself in the crazy spin of life. 

we live in a culture that is always on the go. always pushing us. always requiring more. 

more energy. more time. more of what we don’t have.

after long, exhausting days- i’m a mess and i'm drained- i crawl out of my car and look up at the moonlit sky and i collapse in the grass under the canopy of stars.   

when staring at such an incredible masterpiece, i find it impossible to question such a Creator’s sovereignty. question His provision in my life. His careful hands holding mine so tight.  

so many things in this world can so easily entertain our minds with anxiety and stress.

whether it’s busy schedules, broken relationships, never-ending to-do lists, uncertainties for the future - there always seems to be something that attempts to steal away from our peace and contentment. 

but then i think- if the God who placed each one of those millions of stars into the universe is the same God who is orchestrating the extremely minor details of my life, then what do i really have to be anxious about? what do i have to fear?

in those moments, when i’m laying alone in the grass, pouring my heart out to Him. my questions. my desires. as i gaze, awestruck at the work of His hands, i hear Him whisper:

em, I have it all under control. won’t you trust Me?

and i take a deep breath, and i walk on from those moments with a renewed faith- that i’m not walking alone. and how silly of me to even think for a second that somehow i know better than the God who gave me life. the God who gave everything life. 

and i read from Isaiah 55 as the Lord says:

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways."

and once again i am humbled. and i begin to accept the truth. i accept that sometimes it’s okay to not understand. that my life on its own is just but a breath compared to Him that is eternal and in all things glorious. and how could i ever even expect to understand the thoughts or the ways of such a God?

i look across the sky again and David’s psalm echoes through my head. who am i that You are mindful of me, oh God? (Psalm 8:3-4.)

i feel small. insignificant. unimportant.

and that’s okay.

because in that moment, lying amazed under the weight of His glory, i feel it and i know-

He is near. 

and really, that is all i need to know.

oh, i’ve heard the passage a thousand times. a final exhortation to the Philippians: 

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:5-7.

it is now that i begin to truly understand Paul’s words. and i lay it all before the Lord. every worry. every fear. every hurt. every longing.

and the more i cry out, the more i finally start grabbing hold of that peace. that peace that i will never comprehend. such a peace only comes from such a God. 

and no longer do i need to know all of the answers in life. because He is near. and that is enough.

i am so incredibly thankful for those moments of stillness. those moments when i'm able to stop searching for things from Him- and instead search for Him alone. because He is enough. and i deserve nothing. not even the stars i lay my eyes upon.

oh, i am blessed. and He is good. 

He is beautiful.

"One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." Psalm 27:4.