free to run.

summertime. back roads. country air. windows down. music up. something about it just makes everything feel okay in the world.

the other day, i'm driving alone in the car just thinking about life. and its mysteries. and change. and a song came on the radio that really just stuck with me.

hebrews 12:1-2 has always been one of my favorite verses. 

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

sometimes i think life with Jesus is a lot like a race. but not the kind of race that’s all about trophies and winners and second places. more the kind about endurance and determination and a goal. a finish line. 

i think back to those days in middle school when i ran on the track team. and i was terrible. but i ran. and i think about the races. and how people would pass me until i was in the very back. and i didn’t care because all i wanted to do in that moment was finish my race. and i ran. i ran my little heart out. and dad would be cheering from the side. but i wouldn’t know. i was focused. never looked back. eyes fixed straight ahead. fixed on the goal. the finish line. 

i wish i lived life a lot more like i ran that race. 

sometimes it’s so easy for me to forget the first part of that verse in hebrews 12. the part that comes before our call to run the race. the part that says- let us throw off everything that hinders.

our enemy loves to do anything he can to hold us back from finishing our race. from seeing God’s work in our lives. from growing into the man or woman our Creator desires for us to be. and i think a lot of times, satan uses reminders of our past in order to do this.  

hurts. rejections. failures. mistakes.

we all just end up walking around with these big suitcases full of bitterness. remorse. and regret.

but how can we run if we’re holding suitcases? and how can we fix our eyes on Jesus if we're constantly looking in the rear view mirror?

it's so easy for us to obsess with the past and become so incredibly engaged in the things in this life that can't be changed. i will never understand it. but the truth is this- yesterday is history. it's gone. true life starts right here, right now.

brothers and sisters, it’s time to let go. drop your bags. 

by the grace of your Savior, you are free. 

free to run.

"One thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

 [philipians 3:13-14]

it happens.

have you ever had those moments when everything in your life is just so dysfunctional that all you can do is laugh? well if you know me- you probably know that these moments happen to me on a regular basis. i’m not really sure why- but they just do. 

this weekend was just a series of exactly that.

#1- on friday i’m completing my financial check-in for Liberty. turns out that i was selected for this silly thing called ‘verification’. i remember someone emailing me about it but i didn’t know what it was so naturally i just ignored the message. (yeah, i have regrets.) well- let’s just say i know what verification is now. and i also know that if you don’t do it, you can’t really complete your financial check-in. and then your classes (that you so carefully planned out 2 months before) will be dropped. oopsie.

#2- saturday morning i go with my mother to have my driver’s license picture renewed. i had every intention in the world to make this a good picture- (since i’m going to have it for 4 years and everything). so my mother and i walk into the DMV. she’s just picking up numbers from the front desk and we’re all frazzled trying to figure out where we need to be because everyone and their mom was also at the DMV that day. so we’re both just laughing cuz we have no idea where to sit to get this picture taken and all of the sudden my number is called. so now everyone’s just staring at us as we’re fumbling through papers. i’m trying to get myself together for the photo. turns out i get the grumpiest lady in all of lancaster, pennsylvania to take my picture. my mom’s on the sidelines coaching me how to smile. i'm disoriented. we're both laughing. to end the story, let’s just say- that license is now tucked in the very back of my wallet.

#3- saturday evening, for my friend’s birthday, we go to hershey park with my sister and her boyfriend. it’s getting to be the end of the night and we had about 45 minutes until hershey was going to close. so, following tradition, we run to the very corner of the park to end with our favorite rollercoaster. as we’re shuffling on our way over, we’re taking bets on how many times we can ride this rollercoaster before the park closes. we finally get there to find that not only was the ride closed, but storms were on their way. it wasn’t long before we were barefoot, running through hershey park in the pouring rain trying our best to get to the car that was approximately 496908 miles away. it was a wet ride home.

#4- i take a daytrip to the beach with kate on sunday. we drive 3 hours to find that new jersey really wasn’t too warm that day like it was forecasted to be. so we’re sitting on this dreary beach, bundled up in our sweatshirts waiting for the littlest bit of sun to shine through. once the sun finally did decide to come out, i wasn’t quite ready for it. it kinda looks like a kindergartner took a red crayon and just scribbled all over my legs. (just in case you were wondering- aerosol suntan lotion doesn’t work too well on a breezy day.)

i guess the moral of the story is this: stuff happens.

i’m a firm believer that our joy in life has nothing to do with the things that happen to us, but everything to do with our attitude in response to those things.

i’m also a firm believer that if we all just lightened up a little bit and stopped taking ourselves so seriously, life would make a whole lot more sense.

i find myself just so thankful for those little moments like i had this past weekend. those moments when i can just laugh at myself and realize that it’s really okay not to have it all together all the time. to accept that i mess up. that i do silly things. that i don’t have to be the most attractive person in the world – or even close to it really. that i don’t have to be the best at everything. to realize that no matter how hard i try, things are just not always going to go the way i plan.

life is full of surprises- big and little. but one thing i've learned in my 20 years of being alive- sometimes ya just gotta lean wit it rock wit it. shake it off. giggle a little. cuz guess what. no matter what insanity is thrown your way, i can promise you this-

the show will always go on.

life lessons from emily jo & lupe fiasco. :) 

yes, i do enjoy rap music.